when I was a kid growing up in the heights, i did not have a lot of neighborhood friends. Believe it or not I was shy. I got over it and one day met the Twins. Two beautiful girls who would sort of shape the way I act around other girls. Not Identical twins, but the other. Blue Eyes, Dark hair. They where both a bit evil but in different ways. one would Kill you with kindness, the other was a bitch, and at like 10 she knew it. They where my age, Christ they might be married by now. Anyway, they had a younger Brother. Evan. He was your typical kid, always getting into trouble. Always making my "job" hard. My "Job" being keeping him out of trouble. But he was a good kid. The Sweeney kids where always on the Honor roll, where as I was never. We looked out for one another.
The Twins, Evan and I always hung out. We made our own fun, Yes we produced our own Halloween Play for the people in the neighborhood. We had a club house made up of Pallets. We even recorded radio plays. I had the biggest crush on the "nice" one. Yet in retrospect, I think the mean one liked me. Evan had mischief on his mind always. They came from a broken home, They lived with their mentally unstable mom. their house was always a mess, so shit you could do what ever you wanted. I broke a glass in their basement once and it never got picked up. For me this was great I came from such a clean house, My mom always keeping things in order, my first taste of anarchy.
We had so many good times, we grew into our teens, they moved to their Dad's house in Jackson. I missed them but I had other friends, so it was cool. Evans relationship with his father was never good. His dad walked out on his mom when Evan was but an infant. So the Move to his dads house really affected him. he would eventually move back with his mom on his own request.
when he came back we where both in High School, so we did not really hang much. At this point His mother was worst then ever. Losing her kids for those years made her worst. Evan would climb the wall of my house and knock on my window. we would listen to Suicidal Tendencies and smoke Marlboro menthol's.
As time passed I would see Evan in the neighborhood, but he had new friends as well did I. Evan got into Hard drugs. and so did his mother, I guess when your son is on junk and you have no other way of reaching out to him might as well join him in his down fall. One Day Evan came home from what ever job he was working to find his mother in bed with one of his friends.
Evan made a call to me, But I think I was busy being an asshole.
sometime after that, Evan killed Himself. I am sorry Evan. To this Day I always think about him. Life was was way unfair to that kid. But I guess he will never really be gone, cause I still think of him. On the day of his wake as My parents and I got ready, I felt the need to write something that he would like. I hand wrote the lyrics to a Suicidal Tendencies song and at the very end wrote, you where never alone.
I scream at the sky, it's easier than crying I'm shyest when I'm shouting out loud, I feel so alone in a room full of people. I'm loneliest when I'm in a crowd, I'm alone, and nobody hears me Can't nobody heal me, won't nobody help me I'm alone, I just need Someone to take my hand and pick me up when I'm feeling down Someone to take my heart and give it a home Someone to help me through the times when I'm down and lonely Someone to be with me when I'm alone I'm alone, all alone Alone is the way I live, it's not the way I want it but you know You can't give in, alone is the way I feel, it's so hard to understand Why I've got to be alone [ Chorus: ] If you took a look at my heart you'd see it I'm trying to be something better If you look at my heart you'd feel it I've got to keep moving on If you look in my heart you'd know it I'm just trying to make my world better If you look in my heart you'd see it I got to do it alone I've been down, I've been down I've been down, down, down so low I've been lost, so lost with no place left to go I've had emotions, emotions that you better hope you never know Sometimes it feels like I just can't take no more [ Chorus ] Seems like things just keep getting further out of hand Why can't for once things go as I plan How dare you, how dare you tell me that you understand Let me tell you straight out, there ain't nobody here that can I'm all alone, I'm so alone, to be alone, just leave me alone If you look in my heart, you'll see it If you look in my heart, you'd feel it If you look in my heart you'd know it I'm not trying to make no one bitter I'm just alone, leave me alone, alone, alone, now leave me I've lived in places that you wouldn't never ever want to be Places where for a minute you couldn't ever stand to be I've seen things, I've seen things you'd never want to see So what gives, what gives you the right to be the judge of me I'm all alone, I'm so alone, to be alone, just leave me alone A room full of people, can't nobody hear me, can't nobody help me, I'm alone I just need someone to take my hand and pick me up when I'm feeling down, when I"m down Someone to take my heart and give it a home, when I'm down Someone to be with me and help me through the times I'm down and lonely, when I'm down Someone to be with me when I'm alone I'm alone, all alone Alone is the way I live, it's not the way I want it, but I Know I can't give in Alone is the way I feel, there ain't nothing quite as sad as a person that's alone
Evan Sweeney, I am proud to say I was his friend. Love you Kid.